It’s midnight and I’m supposed to be sleeping my first class at the university starts early and I just think a lot of things at the same time things that do not sort in my mind but make me feel a kind of sensation in my chest.
I think so many things of the time in how it goes so fast in how I thought when I was very little in how I would look at this age I thought that I would feel different but I realize that I always feel the same and the same would be that inner being that you have memory as the first thing that your mind records and stays and evolves but its starting point or its essence is the same.
I always have questions to myself about many things, sometimes they are situations of days where you ask about your existence.
I think that the people that we should never stop listening to our little inner voice that pushes us to the real decisions we want to make that make us think that we are not, we will be betraying ourselves.
I think about how I would like to know the world in order to enjoy the simple moments of the moments that feed the soul and that remind you or make you feel that if it is worth living.
Life is a wonderful art some people are still good people and I would like to find that kind of people and be able to make them part of my life because I think that would also nourish my soul.
I know that not every day they are happy or they motivate you that the gray days the days of pain are more common the disappointment of getting to surrender you hit you and you also have to deal with that.
Humans do not really want to follow rules, we do not want to think more about something that someone else did will be happy for us too. All we want is to find our own illumination our own inner peace.
We are afraid I am very afraid to trust in falling in love maybe and in suffering, but it is that even the suffering of that type is attractive.
The songs would have more meaning and the gray days of heartbreak would have a bit of reflective and delicious torture.
We are so afraid of suffering to suffer emotionally that we forget ourselves and repress what we want to say for fear of losing something that we will never have.
There is no love of your life has never existed and will never exist I do not know if I have written about this before but I personally think that the love of your life is something that was stuck and that could not be that remembering you feel sad and happy at the same time having felt a little bit of that.
You will never marry the love of your life the love of your life is like a very successful television series that lasted five or ten seasons and that can not last forever because if it lasted forever then it would not be fun or memorable it would become boring and repetitive.
This is what happens with crazy and “in love” people who know that they were the love of one’s life and the other they know because they did not stay together and there was no opportunity to get bored and stop feeling that madness.
You know what I think? I think it’s better that way. I think the short and sincere adventures that disappointments of that type is the only crazed love and love that you do not forget.
People can get to love another can create a healthy living that where you do not feel alone may not feel butterflies in the stomach but what if you feel, is the purest and cleanest feeling of all which for me it is La Paz interior the calm.
Think about how you would like to spend your life and think about the beach. Would you like to spend it with your surfboard in the middle of the ocean and feeling adrenaline fear that something will go wrong or excitement when you think that you will master it and feel adrenaline and calmness? Same time? Well, now think about if you want to spend your life with the calm feeling of a beautiful tranquility of being in the sand watching the waves and that the wind is always favorable with a calm swell where you can be a better person you can stay and know that at last you will be safe that although life was very hard on you at some point now you can enjoy that inner peace?
Are those two types of love for me and do you know what I would prefer? I preferred to be in the sand the calm surf and find La Paz inside.
Because they know what? Life has already been very hard life has already hit me hard since childhood because that surfboard in the middle of the ocean have been all those years of wanting to master the technique of “tranquility” to think that I will be well and that I will not run more no danger I could not be in that game all my life although it sounds disturbing and exciting to discover is exciting but the time is gone and at the end of the day what we are looking for is tranquility without fear.
Think about that when you are with someone, think about how that person makes you feel if he makes you feel at peace and learning without fear of anything, or if he makes you feel uneasy thinking that at any moment he is going to hurt you and destroy you.
Because we accept them at the end of the day at the end of the years of time and all that that means are selfish beings by nature and what we look for is how we feel ourselves in each situation.
That is not wrong selfishness by nature and with a low level where you do not plan where you do it and you do not realize that is where we always seek to be safe.
Life is beautiful is a combination of positive and negative feelings and experiences and each one with its purpose we plan a strategic life plan to be safe we think so much in the future whenever we stop living our true days which are this moment.
We forget how fragile we are, we think so much of wanting to save ourselves when really nobody will ever be safe from the true reality which is that at any moment we can stop breathing life is a miracle.
The world becomes chaos every day more people are ceasing to believe in what life meant to them at the beginning when dreams made sense and were clean.
Why do we keep ignoring all that? Because we keep ignoring what we want to say what we want to do? Because we forget the true meaning “life?
This is like a dream, a dream where you think that when you wake up you will be safe or that in the dream you may have done bad things but that when you wake up you will be well always remember that you will wake up at any moment. But in real life you always forget that you can die at any moment and you do not know if there will be a continuation and you continue and you continue to ignore it, you continue creating a future and forgetting your own inner voice.
We think about living the reality which is depressing and miserable for the majority of the population in the world but that is the error to fall into reality and stop working in moving away more and more from the true reality dictated and done by the people who surrendered .
People who did achieve their dreams some become so selfish in the planned sense and turn their backs on other people with real dreams people who are at the same point where they once were.
The world would be a better place if each person who achieved their dreams will help another to fulfill theirs.