Photograph taken from pinterest
The free sunny days I see them very close I want to be able to experiment and give me new memories I am in need of new memories all the time.
I have crazy plans and even a list of “dumb” things that I want to do I hope to have the courage at the right time to do it and that the reason does not stop me.
Happiness is free and this is everywhere invisible and difficult to own but it has always been there and it is not something you pay, it is more about your own decisions that you do not know if they will hit the target or not.
I hate the feeling of helplessness when I realized that you really were an impossibility that even though I have the list of “silly” things I want to do, I can not have you.
People confuse me you can never determine what will happen you only have the power to act at the moment when your eyes stare at me because the only power I have is the present.
The sunny days make my interior burn with a warmth that forces me to want immensely to be on the beach under a quiet shadow makes me want you to be there with me and make us feel so special.
Sometimes it gives me a kind of crazy laugh to think about my present and the past as the place or the situation I am in now has nothing similar in how I imagined a few years ago.
I wrote an email in 2014 in which I demanded not to have young children not stop studying and be a millionaire living in another country with my current boyfriend.
Well, 2014 I want you to know that at present, almost three years after that mail, which is programmed so that I can receive it in a few years, I want you to know that nothing of what I wrote at that moment promises to exist.
My relationship is over and life is more expensive every day elegant desires are combined with reality where it is better to live with what I can give myself because that will be satisfactory.
It could be depressive and looking for some substance that makes me fly could even think about stopping time and vibrating but for what? Otherwise it will be forever and it will be more depressing when it wakes up.
Let everything flow and make plans that are not sure that maybe they have the slightest chance of being fulfilled but it is better to think so.
We are cowards all the time we believe that venturing makes us free but it is not freedom if after we have to return to reality, bone or not, we would be unleashing ourselves completely.
The bases that maintain our weak structure would be there and they are so strong to break that it is something that you have to work on. The decisions help to unleash those bases depending if we finally hit the target.
Once I said that I was tired of living and it was not a suicidal thought it was something like wishing the moment where I solved everything I could find the place far from here where I am still so young and the problems are not so serious.
Lie down and see the wall before the ceiling of my space is relaxing reassures me of all the chaos out there the truth of my life is something that I just need to know myself and write in code is something that frees me a little that load that directs me to chaos.
There are a thousand things that I should be doing now but I am lost and I do not know where the road is that opens new paths I like the curiosity of knowing what will happen …..
When you travel to a place away from home try to fill it with all the experiences you may have from that “yes” that opens chaos or unexpected and great surprises.
Get lost in this text with a sense in the background of those who seek something from somewhere else unexplored.