1998 Navigating in the past

Hi, I think I had not greeted you a long time ago, but today it is time to say that I am ready and I want to share with you the book I wrote almost a year ago. I will publish the book in all the entries that are necessary, and you can read it in order since it will have a specific category, if my book you like or have an opinion about it you can let me know in the comments I would love to know what they think that is really important for me. This is the first book I have written and I have never taught it to another person. This is the first Chapter 

Navigating in the past

1998

I’ve always loved living here surrounded by landscapes that make you feel that the soul wants to get out and wants to spread out in every little corner to be part of the colors and even the most dry leaf that makes up the beautiful landscapes, water will always be something my body I would love to feel for eternity if it existed, because that is where all my emotions soar and hit each other so much, that pain and loneliness is something that no longer scares me so much.

I live alone alone completely they left, and after putting them in first place before the little family that I had, I marry madly in love at age 16, he swore to be always with me and I felt dying if he was not there, but after 1 year we hated each other so much that each one chose a different path, one very far from the other because he made me die many times. After getting away, it hurt me to the dust that my bones will produce if I decide to cremate myself.

I married him after two months of meeting we met in the damn bar of cheap beers, I was always an uncontrolled rebel who took the disgusting beer and smoked, because I always thought he looked at me powerful. I remember that I went with broken black measures and a skirt so short that it did not look like a piece of clothing, but rather a tiny sheet that covered my thirsty vagina.

He was talking to another woman they were touching and when I saw him, I think I just saw his mouth wanting to kiss her, and those green eyes looking at her, I sat in front of them, and I ordered a beer after that, I put my cigarette in the beer, and he looked at me for a moment, his girl went to the bathroom.

My crazy system, it went on and I called him, to where he was, I told him I did not know where the bathroom was, that if he could guide me, he saw me with his sexy green eyes, and he told me to follow him when we were there, I opened the door of that bathroom, full of graffiti and I told him not to leave, I lifted my shirt and showed him my bare breasts, which were so small and with big nipples, he was watching them and he entered the door closed, began to pull us, and she whispered to me that they were the sexiest breasts she has ever seen, and I told her not to take them out of her mouth, we kissed so much that our mouths seemed to be coming together completely, and that they were joining to never let go. I do not know how long our mouths were so connected, I just know that when listening to the screams of a woman, the guy left.

When I opened my eyes and saw that she was leaving, I was trapped with all my emotions, and I sat in the corner of that bathroom, thinking about everything that had just happened, I had never felt so disconnected from everything around me, ever I had been creating an authentic world, in an instant.

Escaping reality while fully awake is something that only destructive drugs can make you feel. After a few minutes I think I reacted, and I left the place while I was walking, I was walking through a beautiful autumn park, I was thinking all the way as I was going to my house, that sexy man with green eyes, I wanted to be with him I felt I should be with him, I came to my house, I was alone my parents work, very retired and I was his only daughter, they were never there, but they taught me to be able to do things alone, I did not have money sometimes I did not have a single cent, I always asked for some things I never bought, I left school, then I went through life doing what I wanted and wanting to find, a person who gave me some light that made me understand what I should do …

Because I knew how lost I was that I did not live on earth, I felt that I lived in my mind all the time literally.

After a week, I returned to that bar, I do not know why, but I was very scared, it hurt me, I think every particle, the blood ran through my veins and I could hear the noise it made. I wanted to find him I was so eager to see him.

He was in my being when I ate cereal, or watched the television naked, thinking if I wanted to find it and somehow stay with this soul so young, so caught in fire that I wanted to burn it, without feeling pain. I went through that park again and the trees were more and more without any leaf, I was about to cross the road, and while the cars passed by, I only thought about wanting my skin to be absorbed in theirs.

I left with my black hair loose, I did not comb it, I did not like to do it, I went with my shorts so short and loose, my legs, my legs have always been thin, and so aligned. I wore a huge sweater was red, and used the cap of my sweater to, that my hair was not for my face.

After crossing the street push the door, and there he was, I wanted to go back I did not know what exactly I was doing, then I stood there and he saw me, grabbed my arm, and in a rude way he took me out together the one of the place, my arm hurt and I asked him what happened to him, he just told me to walk, we got to a worn out building, he climbed me next to the stairs he opened a door, in a room that he only had, a bed with white sheets, and a closet with clothes thrown away, and leftover cigarettes, he threw me to the bed, and began to kiss me very uncontrollably, his kisses hurt me but at the same time I felt that I needed them, I felt that young man was violating me, when I start My clothes, and he pulled his, I just told him to let me go, let me go, I think I only said that once, because later I only care to see his skin so white detaching with mine, it was so intense that transformed and I felt like I was burning myself with him, when we stayed in bed and in silence, he noticed the redness of the blood, which stained his sheets.

I had not had sex with anyone else, just let me touch and kiss so empty of older guys, but my vagina had never had any direct contact. After that, he finally spoke and told me to give him my address and my name, he gave me a marker, and he told me that he did not have paper to do it on his wall, and I was the most obedient and I did it, stain your walls as well as your sheets.

I saw my phone and it was approximately six in the afternoon. It was a Sunday and my mother told me to arrive that day at night, I got up and put on my clothes and left the place, he just stared at me while doing all that, and I did not have time to ask him anything, I ran out keeping in the chest everything that had happened, and tattooing the whole scene in my mind, I just felt the desire to get home, get into the tub, and immerse myself in all that foam, and be there naked thinking what was happening to me , and what was going to happen to that guy who grabbed me so hard, who asked for my address, I wanted to arrive so fast to try to question myself in peace and locked in my bathroom.

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This is the first part that I will publish in my blog, please if you have something to say about this first part, I would be very grateful.

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Categorías:Book 1998

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