The number eighteen is my favorite number, when I turned eighteen I vowed to remind myself every day it was important for me to force myself to live them every day, I forgot most days the time passes very fast when we do not learn new things, I do not regret the numbers They can torture us or make us feel great for reaching the highest.
2018 collapses, it goes without return forever, it will continue to exist in the past, we are still far from returning. Why would I want to return? Maybe to see myself in a mirror and see myself younger. This year was liberating for me, I made my decisions every day and that is something that I thought I would not achieve I was in a dominant shadow and I could only realize it until I killed that shadow and made it disappear.
It’s amazing how you can be guided by the manipulation that someone else can exercise in you. You think that person wants the best for you, you sink and you sink creating a powerful dependence belonging to someone who greatly enjoys believing that he is your God. Life is hard mentally confused when you find yourself discovering what you want for your life.
2018 I want to thank that courage that flooded my mind so completely I feel that flood took the true essence to the top all the water created a huge ocean to discover and God knows that I die to discover great good things for my life I do not want to ask someone if believe that I must do it I just want to try it no matter if it is a total failure will be my life I will be the creator of the huge failure or the enormous success.
The roller coaster reappeared this time calmly it is as if its crazy function had changed makes me enjoy the view even knowing that at any moment it will make me go down so hard that it will make me hate it, the new roller coaster directs my mind I would like it control perfectly but the journey seems even longer than I imagine the decisions take me to strange places I love the power of decisions. They make you travel far you learn everything, you expand the mind, it elevates you to the top, it lowers you, if you do not succeed it can destroy you and it can heal you, you are exposed to everything, you direct it, you are the earthly God for your life.
I can see the mountains from here they look close I feel able to touch them stretching my hand, you would have to walk for many days to be able to touch a tree of those huge mountains it is not impossible it is just that the mind does not let them run towards them the mind often focuses on me in things that I could do afterwards the mind demands me to try not to waste time in calm and simple things that would make me feel happy, the approaches to which my mind is directed are those that I need to realize maybe after the simple things they really are happiness.
The calendars give us an order that makes us think of new years and new opportunities 365 days seem to me very few, time should not be counted because it only limits us to believe that we are very young that we have time to spare or we are very old there will be nothing more After dying, I do not like those thoughts.
I make important decisions I will be far away from my sister God knows when I love her I feel in my being a deep obligation to be aware of asking every night before I get to sleep that my sister is five years old I would love to be with her all her life making her believe in she thinks of how I would have liked at that age to have someone who cared about my well-being. It hurts me to know that I do not know when I will see her again, but I trust that it will be good that my mother will be a real mother, something that was not with me, I do not tell her, I would like to do it but I can not feel it, I never had it.
I do it alone it motivated me I believe in myself even when there is no sign I like the fire inside me the need to learn something new. Was I thinking as I watched the Christmas lights if that was all? the world is huge, consciousness covers our whole being, the conscience questions me, it is hungry, it wants to feel everything. I am feeding her most of the time almost the same, the dish is time and the changing and similar experiences but she still needs more I do not want to realize that she will never be happy, if you think about everything the world has really become It’s something good.
2018 I’ll see you in my memories my 20 my decisions I hope they make me fly I want to fly being awake you understand. Time does not freeze not all that you want to dream awake is clearer do not limit yourself do not let anyone else try to direct your life do not get old to realize that it was a mistake to have let you influence a whole life of someone who thinks who knows what life is like