I like my space the books in front of me, I have not read books a long time ago, I have some that I have not yet read, I liked to read a lot when I was in school, I bought the books that I remembered I have read them again they do not lose their Magic. I like to see the cover of a book I bought in Mexico, it is the cover of a painting by Vincent Van Gogh (I finally write his name well). The photographs I take of trees and plants give freshness to my eyes.
Waking up in the morning and seeing you next to me, many of those mornings you’re not here, you make me breakfast, we spend most of our time together, the silence is beautiful, the peace that you breathe most days is something you can not buy , we do not let perfect perfection is a decision that is molded with time, I do not think about that. The picture above the mirror, I remember when I bought it was painted in 1882 It is a painting with three sunflowers The middle one has a moon instead of the flower, It is night stars are all over the sky, It has a cat is behind some white fences, it is a beautiful picture.
In a few days I will go away from here I have not packed yet, I should do it more calmly, I will have to leave things I would like to take everything but I can not do it has to sacrifice some things to give space to others I would not appreciate it but outside in that way I was remembering something from a long time ago, I was maybe ten years old traveling with my grandmother on a bus, in one part of the trip I saw another child I sensed that I was a little older maybe one or two years, it was the first time I felt fall in love with a stranger with just seeing it in the eyes. The days after that meeting I thought a lot about him, how his room was, his toys, his baseball glove were things that he imagined. My first trimester in college I met someone who made me feel that same feeling I felt when I was ten or eleven years old I do not know if it was the same person, I never spoke with him at that time. I would have liked not to be in a relationship when I met him, I longed for him to break my heart, it is so inexplicably beautiful when someone you like looks you in the eyes, I had dreams with him the following days that kind of things are the that motivate me to continue living being able to feel and pay close attention to everything that happens in the present.
Many times I have thought how I wish I could have a long life longer than known, be with a thousand men a thousand different relationships learn from them all, I like when I have finished some of the few relationships I’ve had, I like when they have said that I am the woman of his life, to leave that mark on someone is a treasure I like to be remembered, I have never tried to make someone fall in love with me I have only been myself, someone has never broken my heart I want it but it is everything On the contrary, when I have felt how miserable it is not being able to be with someone with whom you want to try something, I like that feeling my repertoire of sad songs blooms that feeling of sadness when I hear them I love to feel it.
I am sure that if we took away a bit of the drama that we give to life, we would risk experiencing different things. I would like to see your eyes that yours see mine I want you to accelerate me with your kisses, new lips know the same but they are not the same person, I want to think about you while I listen to sad songs, while I remember when you held me tight, I read your messages a couple of times I liked the part where it said “Go with me” I like how you mess up all the reasoning that has cost me so much to order, I do not want you to suffer for me I would like to suffer for not having you but it would kill me if you suffered for not having me to me. The guilt of having hurt you would not let me sleep I can not allow being the author of your mental destruction, you do not deserve it You are an Angel for me maybe because I do not know anything about you yet you do not break the idea that I have created about you from the The first time my eyes saw you. You are so distracted that you can not see the opportunity you have with me, I can be unforgettable for you if it is what you want. Estere away from you we will lose with time, I hope to overcome what you produce in me, I had left behind now I can not ignore it, I just do not want to have lost a treasure.
I like art I do not need an explanation about what my eyes see, I like to imagine a whole story I like my own explanation. I will write soon an entry related to artistic photographs with my reflection about them, I want to have in my blog something related to that, feed my spirit. Empacare slowly I want to observe the moment in which I put everything I can in my suitcase, I know where I’m going but I do not know what is really waiting for me in that place. I promise to write a lot, I promise that every wildflower will be important to me, I want to start I wish it was the beginning of what my true life will be.
Photograph taken from Pinterest