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I remain still in silence, attempting to capture myself through the lens of my mind’s memory in the present moment. I observe the fragility of my existence and the boundless energy of my soul, eager to devour life in its entirety and make the most of every fleeting second we call time. It has been a long time since I last felt this way, and today I can only recognize myself with a truly authentic and beautiful existence.

I believe that every courageous human being, living from the voice of their soul and appreciating the interconnectedness of the events that guide us through this world, is a sacred creature. I always trust and pray to encounter these fellow human beings.

It is impossible to silence the mind and keep it in absolute stillness. However, when we assume the position of understanding that we are the protagonists of the story of our own lives, we can, in a subtle way, catch a glimpse of our own existence and contemplate its sound and shape from time to time. It is in those moments that a divine light descends from above and permeates my entire being, illuminating it as if God Himself were looking into my eyes.

In the silence, in the calmness, and with trust in myself, I dedicate myself to building memories of different moments in time. This allows me to have a broad vision that I observe with clarity and into which I can immerse myself. In that space, I experience such a profound peace that it feels as though I have fully conquered it, without any worries of disturbance.

I take a deep breath, trying to recall the scent of the various masculine presences that have captured my attention thus far. I attempt to discover which of those faces displayed calmness in their gaze. A shy and deliberate smile graces my face because once again I have found myself, fervently and eagerly accepting the longing to share an eternity of love from the purity of the soul with a man whom I can truly fall in love with and surrender to without fear. I hope that he, too, can do the same, seeing me as I see myself and perceiving me for who I truly am at my core. Through self-acceptance and with a profound love for his own life, and for life itself.

I don’t know how much personal journey lies ahead of me, but I can’t help but recall those moments when I have become one with another person, and how time has captured those snapshots, turning them into authentic works of art that I can appreciate when I close my eyes. My life feels like a museum filled with collections of invaluable treasures, even those I have had to discover amidst chaos, confusion, dissatisfaction, anger, injustice, incomprehension, and some of life’s episodes that lack meaning.

However, I have always managed to extract an important lesson, a valuable learning, and a precious beauty at the end of each experience. These add to the pieces that make up the museum of my cherished memories.

Today, I found myself trapped in one of the permanent exhibits, in a room housing remarkable pieces in precious Van Gogh-like shades of yellow, created in the early twenties of my twenties. There, I appreciate your beauty and strength, reflected in a wise smile and an openness to what you would call the new world. In those moments, I found you exploring lands that did not belong to your vessel, but from my perspective, your lands still remain what we consider the new world.

You embraced me tightly, capturing my existence in just seconds, keeping me close to your body and demonstrating a profound connection in a divine display of moving art. Held within the spaces of the room, it felt like we were dancing together without the presence of time. Although to the eyes of others it may have seemed incoherent, I was simply following my heart.

I wonder if you also remember it, if you also keep it in one of the corners of your memory. I don’t know. We are together, existing in those photographs of memories, and from there I continue to look into your eyes and dance with you. So much so that everyone else disappears in the room, and only you and I remain, and this room becomes our temple, a powerful testament to our union. It is so intense that it feels as if the entire world disappears, and that is precisely what I long for. I realize that I deserve an authentic life experience, where I can feel even the gentlest breeze caressing the delicate hairs on my arms, and allow the wildest breeze to assail my heart, making it vibrate and resonate, creating a light that ignites and is visible throughout the universe. Where are you in this moment?

After countless readings, decisions, and encounters up to this point, there is a part of me that longs for love and yearns for complete enlightenment, to live in that harmony. I cannot help but seek love and conquer it. I desire to experience love in its entirety and live from that deep connection, to remain there.

I can be aware of the ways in which I steer my life, feeling like a sophisticated person conducting an orchestra, creating an authentic and unforgettable sound. However, when dawn brings the morning, I am unaware of what the external world holds, and when dusk dims the light, I do not know what person will awaken the next day, or what I will have become. I simply wish to continue transforming into who I want to be, or perhaps even something better, never losing the guidance and shelter of the light that watches over and cares for me as I journey through these paths.

I share one of the phrases whispered to me in one of my recent dreams: «The jaguar may be wounded, but it keeps moving forward in the jungle, in the right direction of its own path towards its destiny. Keep moving forward.»