The evening of pink hues descends upon my hungry body, seeking to generate natural happiness in the new sport I embraced two years ago, called running. Who knows, perhaps I’ll be able to run a marathon soon.

One Sunday this year, after spending five hours working on contracts and sales for one of the world’s largest companies in this industry, I returned to my apartment. I put on a black New Balance shorts, a sporty tennis-style shirt, and headed out for a run that lasted nearly four hours, covering 24 kilometers. At first, I wasn’t quite sure where I was headed, but then I found myself spotting signs for a trail called the «Cherry Creek Trail.» That’s how, finally, around the 15-kilometer mark, I began to feel the emotions behind the songs playing during that run, intertwined with my own feelings. By the time I reached the 20-kilometer mark, it seemed like I had unraveled the X that I needed to solve in my life after all the upheaval of moving to the United States, with only five months under my belt at that point. Running those 24 kilometers helped me balance my spirit, mind, and body; I could inhale lungfuls of fresh air like a whale and keep going.

I remember that we crossed paths that day; my phone had run out of battery, and I saw the masculine silhouette that guided me back to my apartment. I had seen you before; you had just moved into the building where I was doing sales at the time. I was captivated, wondering where such a beautiful smile had come from.

I must admit that I’ve been longing for the structure of your body entwined with mine. You’re a precious being, yet you were also a cautionary tale. I ponder how I could fathom your Canadian homeland, having caught glimpses of its culture steeped in maple syrup. Your genuine essence, a journey of self-discovery and embodiment. Our leisurely soaks in the tub, delving into profound conversations about our human experiences thus far, sipping on hot tea during my inaugural winter, beholding your naked allure, your robust and sound physique, awakening in the mornings and sharing those intimate spaces.

I also yearn for the sound of Frank Sinatra’s melodies serenaded by your melodious and untainted voice.

I miss your flights from Portugal to Mexico, just to be together in my room. I long for your journeys from Canada to Mexico, exploring the city of Puebla and capturing our youth. Your trips from Canada to the United States, accompanying me through my transition to the new country.

But that too was an experience, one of learning. I learned to let go and to be mindful in my actions towards others, because hurting another is hurting ourselves. What a lesson!

Then, I dive into all the things I want to learn, into everything I do, into everything I’ve done and learned. I sit at my desk, seeking concentration. I add more notebooks to create worlds within each one, to aid my mind. I create mental Excel files to ensure everything is in its place. I leave an open space for divine intervention, as it always knows what’s best and most convenient.

I’m at 24, living in a city for the first time. I listen to podcasts and audiobooks to feed my mind with quality information. I maintain my obsession with cleanliness as I strive to embrace the minimalism I aim for and bring order to things.

Later, I find myself nude in my room, contemplating how several months have passed since I last shared my body with another human being. I miss that, yet as I delve deeper into consciousness, I become more responsible and cautious about whom I share this space with. I ponder on how we are pure energy and how we must exercise care when forging connections with those who are disconnected from themselves.

I spent an entire day from noon organizing my new roommate’s belongings. She gazed at me thoughtfully, wondering why I was doing it. I simply said, «It helps me clear my mind.» I spent time listening to podcasts and a new audiobook. It reminds me that I have another new audiobook I need to finish.

I bumped forcefully into a corner of the refrigerator, everything went black for a moment, and I had to take a deep breath. My breathing felt strange, as if my body didn’t recognize it. I told myself, «Keep going,» and so I did. I also realize that I need to reintroduce meat into my diet. Unbeknownst to me, I’ve been consuming mostly vegetarian food for most of this year, and I can sense the frailty of my body. Nonetheless, I continue to strive for healthy choices in this country, selecting the most beneficial products for my well-being. Food lines the shelves, segregating the organic from the inorganic. It might seem trivial, but it’s a reality. We are tamed wild beings, striving to appear modern with our bags of «Natural Groceries.» And, to be honest, yes, it feels great.

Another person on the other end of the phone asks me about Japanese cinema and whether I have seen Studio Ghibli films. I answer in the affirmative and they invite me to watch a movie. I arrange my schedule to share that moment with him, but then he disappears. I reflect and laugh. I’m not willing to waste my valuable time with indecisive people who don’t know what they want. I still don’t understand why there are a multitude of human beings who try to appear interesting with poor communication. Although to be honest, I have only noticed this in the United States, do Americans have a hard time communicating?
I want to unveil the truth behind it all: it’s not intriguing; it’s just jaded.

Over the ten months I’ve been living here, I’ve strengthened my beautiful connection with my best friend from my teenage years. Our daily call helps us get organized. We share our days, secrets from the past, life lessons and dreams for the future. We talk about our families and what we have to leave behind. We laugh out loud, recognizing how amazing life is and the limitless possibilities it holds, even on days when we don’t fully understand what we are doing.

This city holds an intriguing sentiment; diversity seems to resonate in every corner and at full volume.

There are shadows that embody art.

Suddenly, in the morning, I find myself filing a report for a police case involving a man who has followed me on six occasions, persistently seeking my phone number. However, I’m living in the United States now, and I must be vigilant. There’s a system structure that functions, and at the end of the day, we must always be aware of the fragility of this life and defend it.

I’m still not sure about my opinion of this new country. I’m trying to nourish myself with reviews that encompass all the essential parts of the experience. Surely, once I finish reading the three pending books, I can add one more, focused on the rights and obligations of U.S. residents. I’ve learned a lot in this journey so far, but a book always helps organize ideas more coherently.

I take a deep breath to continue in search of that feeling of home. Although I know this entire world is my home, leaving behind the communities I’ve belonged to and helped shape, to continue growing in every possible way, also weighs on me. It feels like I have to let go of so many things to make room for the new.

I know people who have had lifelong friends, sharing close spaces over the years, witnessing each other’s growth and aging. It seems like a naturalness wrapped in a routine where nothing changes, while everything changes in the outside world. I respect those ways of life. But mine, as far as I can remember, causes many things to happen internally before expressing them in the external world, and in this, there is so much movement.

The people I’ve met so far and who have remained in my life have dreams they work towards, just like I do. Some have left their homelands to carve their own path. Sometimes I wonder if, when I feel that sense of missing them, they also experience the same in their new surroundings.

I think about the people I’ve allowed into my life and with whom I’ve shared experiences. Life seems fleeting when you look back, which makes us reflect on the importance of immersing ourselves in the present. Life keeps teaching me so much that I’m not sure if one lifetime is enough for all these lessons. Perhaps it isn’t, but the ability to experience these lessons through our own journeys is a true gift.

I’m awakening, trying to rise before seven in the morning. Suddenly, messages from you arrive, saying you miss our company. It’s been months since we ended that relationship, but you can only respect my decision. Even though you don’t understand how something so intense and full of love could slip through our fingers, when not handled properly, that energy can lead to destruction.

I turned off all concerns and immersed myself in the present during one of my trips, the one where I met you. My skin was bare most of the time, sun-kissed by the Pacific Ocean, connected to your body in the mornings upon waking, in the getaways for shared baths to wash away the sand from the sea, and in the evenings before drifting off to sleep. But that was it, a fleeting experience.

With the truth of time’s nonexistence, we cannot accurately predict the ordered events. So, perhaps we may cross paths in the future. Fearlessly, without the fear of being hurt, with the courage to love, embracing our individuality, and grateful for the desire to share our lives with each other.

What is all of this life about? In what exact tune am I, because I feel like I’ve been here for a long time already.

I stared upward at that gathering, and my mind expanded to capture all the codes. I wanted to grasp each one and decode them, but they seemed to grow infinitely as the sun prepared to rise.

In light of recent statements from former U.S. military personnel, acknowledging the possibility that we are not alone when it comes to life on this planet, I find myself uncertain about how much longer the current façade, constructed to sustain life, can be upheld. It appears to be a fabrication, serving as a backdrop, rather than a genuine reflection of a home where acceptance, enlightenment, and harmony with the forces that constitute the universe can thrive.

Every soul dwelling within a physical vessel deserves the utmost respect in their unique life journeys, allowing each one to blossom and merge with an expanded consciousness. Unfortunately, many of these processes are hindered by existing systems, giving rise to extensive manipulations, misinformation, and chaos. These disruptions distance these souls from their inherent power to heal and break free from patterns that have echoed across different bodies and generations. This ripple effect resonates across all aspects of existenc.

The unawareness and control under which many countries operate are truly perplexing. For those of us who have chosen to awaken and live from a place of consciousness, seeking balance, we also endure suffering because we understand that, ultimately, we are all interconnected. Despite each human living their unique version, this energy is also part of a collective, a continuous flow of communication. Due to this interconnectedness, we all sense echoes of these feelings. The greatest lie we’ve been told is that we are individual beings, and how much harm this has caused to humanity.

Wars, pandemics, and all events that foster separation among us have been a consequence of this. It even becomes a challenge to navigate the crowd while awake, as one can vividly perceive these completely distorted and dormant movements. Though I view the system as a foundation for experiencing life, it’s also a double-edged sword. When you can finally observe it and begin to dismantle it, you can feel exiled. In my case, it was a voluntary exile to confront this experience safely, knowing who I am, who I have been, and who I want to become. Psychology seems to be designed to guide you back into a cerebral order that aligns with the very system itself.

Recipes for food are completely manipulated and processed. While I understand the different eras of humanity, I can also see how the path towards awakening consciousness has been manipulated and disrupted from day one.

I admire how many people have maintained and integrated their communities outside of these systems, living life consciously. But that also means leaving other unconscious versions behind, which ultimately is all of us. Even though many of these communities advocate awakening for all, I wonder about people like me who, after awakening, choose to remain within this crowd, seeking balance amidst all these different movements.

But what will happen now, with all these changes, with all these technological advancements, with all this power in the hands of those who label themselves as world leaders, and use it for mass manipulation? It seems that darkness and unawareness still maintain control over this Earth, which hosts such diverse, exotic, magical creations, full of colors and contrasts, and precious souls. However, the majority of human beings remain unsatisfied, searching for an identity, unaware that they already encompass everything. They are deprived of the knowledge that they are the universe and that all that creative energy resides within them. Fear of death continues to be instilled, when death is part of the processes that give life, because we are something greater.

When these systems and this unawareness can no longer sustain these structures, what will become of humanity? The potential outcome is chaos and fear, which could further feed ignorance and threaten to leave these versions of ourselves forgotten. If we have the opportunity today to awaken, to be courageous, to live to the tune of our consciousness, from the depths of our soul, to know that we have the power to reorganize our minds and face the consequences of our decisions for greater learning, connecting with the elevated version of ourselves until it becomes reality.

Take a look at what you bring into your temple, care diligently for the body you call your own. Examine the information you feed your mind and assess who you allow into your life. Weigh the love and respect you deserve. Reconnect with the universe and grant yourself moments of self-exploration and inner reflection.

Review the projects you support and consider the dreams you yearn to manifest. Don’t allow fear to paralyze you and distance you from them. Evaluate where you may have lost your way along the journey and how you can reclaim your essence.

Only you possess the power to return to that internal conversation, the voice that has chosen to experience this life on your behalf, in your family, and through your expression. You are a precious energy, brimming with unlimited creativity. You are the sun that illuminates each morning and the seasons that bloom, wither, and are reborn. Your smile lights up the universe, and your tears purify and transmute pain into light. Your hands cradle the faces of those you love and choose to share life with. Through that love, you are reflected in the mirror of the other, constructing a relationship with yourself that transforms as you grant yourself spaces to grow.

You are the creator of your destiny. I remember a dream in which several horses were pulling a wooden cart in which I was sitting. I felt out of control and fearful, but in the end I took the reins and guided the horses along more suitable paths. Upon awakening, I realized that the horses represented my mind and the importance of keeping it under control. An uncontrolled mind is vulnerable to external manipulation and collective influences that do not contribute to evolutionary development.

I know that darkness precedes enlightenment, but I believe that every warrior must access the truth, that it is not about any other war that he has to fight, but the war of himself, the war to concomit himself and live the life he wants to experience and not submerge himself to the control of another life without the awareness and control of himself. to win the battle and not waste his power feeding the ignorance that the system pretends to inculcate. Remember, these systems want your power to manifest their desires, not yours. All this misinformation channels your creative energy into their reality.

A clear example is that we create everything that exists, consciously or unconsciously. I ask you: When will you take the reins of your own horses? I yearn to breathe life consciously, shaping my experience with gratitude and self-love. I defend my life because it is precious; I take care of my body.

I wish to effectively manifest my dreams, build loving and healthy relationships, and explore life with confidence. I want to unfold my creativity without limits, embrace and heal wounds through mindful breathing. I aspire to see the light in every human being, moving away from what does not contribute to the evolution of consciousness without judgment.

I long to dance freely, honor my ancestors, and connect with different enlightened cultures. I want to smile at strangers with unwavering confidence, share unforgettable experiences with my family and friends, and face every situation with awareness. I will continue to listen to my inner voice, live with boundless creativity, and awaken with gratitude for the divine light that resides within me.

My aim is to unlock abilities for the evolution of my soul, to connect with versions of consciousness in other life processes, and to experience a fulfilled existence. We are pure creative energy.

Where do you find yourself right now? II Sailor and captain, where were you heading when you decided to chart your own course, guided by the rhythm of your heart? I had forgotten how much I would miss the warmth of another body amidst so much distance, in search of my own radiance. Kiss me slowly; I want to uncover the choreography of your lips in these new lands. The cycles of day and night continue their course; I observe their existence and the contemplation of their fading. Where are the words that can express the view from this vantage point? Immersed in the city, I will explore it before decisions and life lead me to other horizons. I want to be a tourist in my own city and forge my own path. For the first time, I see my journey reflected in the mirrors of my walk.

Perhaps I should go out and seek inspiration.

Written by Kafme