Dreams / Series

Morning of August 28, 2023

It’s time to embrace change and sit down to observe the processes I find myself in at the present moment, disciplining myself in what I must do.

I haven’t had a good sleep routine in several months due to the many changes I have experienced in these past eleven months. I am immersed in new learnings and experiences, as if I didn’t want to sleep to miss out on anything. However, the reality is that my human body is fragile and needs its recovery process to function properly. Today, I slept until noon. There were times when I woke up briefly, but my own body asked me to go back to sleep. I felt as if I had entered a deep dream, where I connected to a source of energy to recharge. I feel like I’ve completed this recharge 100% between last night and noon today, so I will work on organizing myself in this aspect.

In one of those attempts to wake up, my body wouldn’t let me, even trying to confuse me by giving me a series of rapid dreams in which I thought I had woken up. However, I soon realized that this was not true since I couldn’t access my phone. In dreams, technology, which often disconnects us from the true experience of being human, seems not to exist because in the realm of dreams, we are omnipotent and can do anything we desire. That’s how I perceive it so far.

Various colors form in the sky, merging in two movements. One of them is clearly a blend of yellow and blue, while the other is a light blue that separates from the intense blue of the sky. It seems as if two voices, two entities, are engaging in a dialogue. The yellow and blue voice watches from above a majestic lioness, illuminated by the light of the stars and the moon. This lioness radiates confidence and seems oblivious to her surroundings. Her golden skin and slender figure make her appear almost divine. The male voice is instantly drawn to her, but this feeling of love completely blinds him, hypnotizing him to the point where he forgets his own identity and reality, focusing entirely on this lioness.

He decides to reincarnate as a robust lion on Earth, descending from the heavens to cross paths with the lioness. At first, she ignores him and continues on her own path. However, his persistence is such that he seems willing to do anything to capture her attention. Finally, she turns her eyes to his, and together they embark on a journey in search of a place to establish their home and develop their relationship.

The lion’s counselor descends from the heavens, and comical scenes reminiscent of Disney’s «The Lion King» unfold. The counselor warns them about unsuitable lands, pointing to a high mountain that the lion accepts as his new home alongside the lioness. Then, the lion attempts to cultivate corn but repeatedly fails on seemingly infertile lands. Throughout the seasons, he watches as his plants wither and freeze. Finally, a golden corn cob emerges, and the lion celebrates his success, demonstrating to the lioness that he is capable of providing for her, hoping that this will make her fully accept him.

Despite achieving this, the lioness continues to display a hostile attitude towards the lion and never seems to surrender completely. It seems as if she believes that no one is good enough for her and has become self-sufficient, giving up the idea of needing someone to feel complete. Nevertheless, her self-acceptance seems to make her a magnet for external things, easily attracting what she needs in her life, as she has found her inner fulfillment.

The Lion and the Quest for Recognition

The lion decides to descend from the heavens to be close to her, without first asking if that’s what she desires, if she’s willing to make space in her life for him. He even forgets who he is, immersed in earthly processes to prove that he deserves the lioness’s attention. Although he manages to demonstrate his interest in being part of her life, she never seems to truly see him. Even before my dream ends, I can see them both smiling, but it appears that the lioness sees him more as a friend than as a true connection, a surrender of her femininity to the masculinity coexisting in balance.

Finally, I wake up at one in the morning in this reality while writing this. I wonder about the meaning of this dream and spend the rest of the day reflecting on it. Gradually, I begin to understand some parts of it. Then, I listen to an episode of one of the podcasts I usually follow, and the information in the dream starts to resonate more and organize better.

Women are divinity, an ocean of wisdom that we can access when we decide to transcend society’s expectations of what we should be. Current society still tends to limit us, labeling us as wives, mothers, or suggesting that we can be professionals, but always with the responsibility of getting married and starting a family at some point. Even today, women who pass their thirties without marrying in America are negatively judged, and those who choose not to become mothers or get married are criticized, being labeled as selfish if they prioritize their careers or decide to divorce.

I remember when I made the decision to divorce, just like when he proposed to me, it was an intimate and personal matter. These decisions concern only the two people involved, as they alone know their connection and how to express their mutual feelings, being vulnerable to each other. This cannot be understood or subjected to external opinions, as it would add confusing interferences to a communication that must be clear and sincere.

So, I recognize myself as the creator of how I choose to relate to people and what aspects of my privacy I wish to share. After more than a year since my separation from a nearly five-year relationship, I feel ready to share that the decision to end our relationship was natural. We understood that our companionship in life was temporary, and we were not willing to change our essence to please each other because that wouldn’t be love. Some relationships are part of the journey but not the final destination.

I see it as traveling on a train, exploring different landscapes, embracing the experience of the journey, learning from new emotions and places to discover. We get to know ourselves through each other, not knowing at which train station one will have to get off while the other stays on board. I discovered deeper aspects of myself and eventually had to disembark from the train of that relationship. After months of reflection and reviewing every memory, I surrendered and thanked the experience and learning it provided. I acknowledged the connection of that relationship with many of my personal achievements.

I want to tell the women reading this that you are special and that within your being, you carry the powerful portal to bring life to Earth, but this is just one of the many pillars that make up our divine existence. In your spirits, there is an infinite connection with the universe and creation, and the simple act of being and existing is enough. You can feel on a solid foundation to continue getting to know yourselves.

The World Around Us and Our Journey to Self-Discovery

The world that surrounds us and what we wish to learn and experience in it doesn’t depend on the presence of a male figure to materialize it. We should not believe that we need the romantic presence of a man to feel complete. In my experience, I seek a partner, and if this doesn’t happen the way my soul desires, I feel secure enough to be on my own. I am working on being the ideal woman for myself first and foremost. In this ongoing process of self-discovery, I maintain my standards and do not lower them just because I feel I need to be with a man or conform to an idealized image of what a woman should be. My goal is to be the best version of myself, and from this upgraded version, I am in constant learning. I honor and respect all the lessons I have learned so far about myself and how I relate to others, identifying my boundaries and values, and knowing when to walk away from places where I don’t feel authentic or respected, whether in work relationships, friendships, or family.

What would happen if every woman in the world gave herself the opportunity and space to know herself as an individual after leaving the family nest? What if our choices of partners were based on this responsibility to know ourselves first, choosing to truly get to know the other person, share life, learn, and create a conscious union that goes beyond reproductive purposes, allowing these connections to transcend?

Last year, I was talking to one of my close friends in Mexico, explaining that as a woman, even while being independent and working on making my dreams come true, there are things I embrace and respect from the earliest records, from the primitive, in relation to men and women. For example, I like to feel protected by a man; I like to feel that he is attentive to me and takes care of me; I like to feel that I am his woman; I like this precious vulnerability and care. I also like to give him this affection and love within the intimacy we create, as long as there is respect for each other’s freedom, without trying to control or disrespect each other’s free will. As a conscious woman, I decide that I like the idea of monogamy because I couldn’t share my body and spirit with different connections simultaneously. In this way, I can’t cultivate the land for the construction of something. That’s why if I have a relationship in the future, I know that this will be one of the foundations I seek in my relationship. A focus on my own dreams to continue fulfilling, my own learning to keep exploring, and my own attention to my consciousness movement from my essence. But I also know that I can share myself with my partner and respect their individuality, and that they can feel the same way. I firmly believe in soulmates because for me, this is like a mirror of masculinity and femininity that can see each other through each other.

For now, and for the first time in my life, since my first relationship in adolescence, I am giving myself this space to be single and explore myself in all possible ways. I know that when the time comes when both of us have seen and understood each other, we can consciously continue to immerse ourselves in our own conversation with ourselves and open an extension to immerse ourselves in our connection as a couple as well.

It’s also important to say that I respect and honor the existence of men. Both energies are necessary for the existence of life. I deeply feel that many structures created from ignorance and unconsciousness continue to put men in a role where they may feel a lot of responsibility on their shoulders and a lot of pressure to prove their worth. But I also know that every human being has the power to awaken from these limiting systems and decide what kind of man they want to be in all areas of their life. I hope you choose to be a good human being, a conscious one.

I also thank all the men in my life so far: my father in the first place, my precious grandparents, my true and close friends, my uncles. Thank you for protecting me, for filling me with love, inspiration, and for taking care of me in so many ways. I am also grateful to my ex-husband for taking care of me in so many ways, for his infinite patience, for believing in me, for his unconditional support and love, for making me laugh so much, for looking into my eyes and speaking from his heart and honesty, for respecting me as a human being, for his loyalty. Even though our paths no longer run together, I am infinitely grateful for his precious love. Thank you for seeing me beyond my fears, my insecurities, my traumas, and even sometimes my unconsciousness in the past. Thank you for being there for me and being that voice of hope. I want you to know that I am taking responsibility for myself in every possible aspect, that I am healing, and I wish you the purest happiness and true love with anyone you are or decide to be with in the future.

I also thank my other past relationships, which have taught me what I want and don’t want in my romantic relationships. It’s even easy for me to identify those men with their egos and how they are so blinded by ignorance. Even those who think that having multiple simultaneous relationships while being dishonest and disloyal is a proof of worthiness. All this proves is profound ignorance, self-irresponsibility, and a lack of self-sufficiency. I ask women not to give more attention or importance to chauvinistic men who think that, by having a certain amount of money or certain material possessions, they can treat women disrespectfully. Don’t give more attention to these characters. As a woman, I have been the person who says NO to these men, and I can see how their egos crumble, and they are left in a state of confusion. So, instead of reflecting on themselves and their behaviors, most of them have thought of me as a challenge and then become obsessed. All this does for me is provide clear evidence that they don’t even know themselves and that in no way could I create something real and true with them as they are blinded by a repetitive pattern of what society says a man should be.

Women must embrace themselves and create mutual respect. It is disappointing to see that many women see others as competition. Each woman is unique and beautiful in her own way. Every woman dedicated to self-exploration has the power to tell and share a story, to make her dreams come true, and to show that precious smile to the world. I am grateful for all the women in my life so far and also for my naturalness in distancing myself and not being part of the unconsciousness of many women who criticize others. They are part of a negativity that does not bring any spark of light to the divinity of our true power.

I decide what it means for me to be a woman.

And, returning to the dream of the lion and the lioness, perhaps I haven’t found someone who feels sufficient for me yet because I am still in the process of learning to feel sufficient with myself. And nothing is personal; everything is a challenge in life and in the discovery of who we are and what we want. I know I have every intention of continuing to build real relationships, to learn, to get to know the other person, and, above all, to get to know myself better. I wish for these relationships to be guided by connection and the feeling of what feels right. Who knows? Perhaps on one of those magical days in existence, I will decide to join another existence, be together, and form a large family. To create our own reality together, our own way of relating, our own intimacy, a union based on respect and honesty.

Written by Kafme