The body begins to structure itself and the nuts that hold it together begin to adjust properly. However, the soul is not interested in perfection, as it knows it does not exist. If perfection existed, we would be living in a static reality. The soul only wants to feel and express itself. On the other hand, the brain seeks organization and perfection, as it is aware of the limited time we have. The perception of life can be captured immediately by the ramifications that build our reality. This makes me feel a deep nostalgia, as I still don’t know where I’ll go after I die.

My vision begins to focus and I see goals to be achieved to make the human experience a reality. The brain needs a few seconds to process the new information, and after capturing it, some of it remains floating. To make a complete configuration, experience is required. At that moment, I embrace my humanity and thank it for allowing me to experience all this.

Walking down the building’s halls, my feelings disappeared within minutes. Everything became clear and precise. It was as if I had lived one of Andy Warhol’s dreams, I had become a machine. I seemed to be focused on updating myself from the earliest records of our existence to the present.

The ocean of thoughts that navigates in my mind finally finds peace and I can access the machinery that builds this reality. We have the power to program our brain, speaking to it from consciousness to explain what is happening.

What conversation are you having with yourself? What are you feeding yourself?

Moving to the United States has been a leap of faith without a safety net, as I initially lacked a clear understanding of what was happening in this country. But over time, I have managed to grasp everything in an impressive way, which could have driven me crazy, but I have survived and now I focus on my goals.

Hailing from Latin American lands, this country is considered first world, where the system operates efficiently. This is an advantage for me, as it means that the tools are developed and can be used to build the realities I desire. However, this requires a process. So, I communicate with my wild soul to explain that we need to build a home. She tells me that home is where the heart is, but my brain responds seriously that the human body is fragile and mortal and needs care in every aspect, so it’s necessary to build a solid structure as a solid base so that infinite roots of expression can emerge. Therefore, seeking balance, my soul begins for the first time to listen to my brain.

It’s not about silencing the soul or controlling everything, but about finding a balance that allows us to exist in a friendly duality.

I return to one of the first spaces I began to build in this city. I undress and look at myself in the mirror to do a body scan. I can see that I have dark circles under my eyes and that my skin needs more hydration. Beauty seems neglected, but it’s understandable: I’ve been living here for four months, and it’s been an intense transition to adulthood, learning to manage everything in a new language and understanding how tax declaration works.

Today, someone I’m getting to know brought me Asian food, so after evaluating my body, I gave him a little of the food, which had a salty taste in combination with duck meat and vegetables, duck ramen.

I thought of a routine to move my body before sitting down to create again. I discovered an exercise routine that would help my body be in sync with my soul. I went down to the gym with my computer and started to move, creating dance-like forms, feeling the elasticity of my skin and the need to expand and express.

Many thoughts wanted to come like email, but I was able to read them immediately and start organizing them into separate folders. I began to eliminate those thoughts that didn’t have a clear sender and that might not be mine in the first place. Maybe I heard them somewhere or maybe someone vomited them toward me because that’s how he felt about himself, but that was never personal against me.

Written by kafme