«All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.»
— William Shakespeare

I have been observing the memories that travel from the past to my present, and it feels so surreal to see how I have changed so many scenes throughout my life. All this has been driven by the urgency to squeeze and live this life to the fullest. I am increasingly aware of time and its impact on my existence. It seems that this is just a blink of an eye, and although I envision my life beyond 100 years, I know that when the day comes to say goodbye to this body, life will have been a mere time-lapse in the memory of this specific existence of mine.

I am aware of this, and that is why I nurture all those versions of myself that need to develop at their own pace for the complete update of all that I came to learn for the evolution of my consciousness. Although, sometimes, I feel so out of place that it’s as if I’ve returned. There are many answers that have not yet arrived, but while I await that moment to see my life in perspective, I want to remind myself that my heart remains on fire and that my eyes continue to glance at the sun from time to time. It’s not advisable, but the yellow is so bright that I can only take small glimpses.

Perhaps Shakespeare was referring to all those different ways we act daily, depending on the communicative current of the energy we are interacting with. I try to remind myself who I truly am and to view this role as a necessary experience, enjoying every aspect, even the simplest ones. Being present, absorbing the experience with care and purity, builds a center within me that holds me wherever I go. At that base lies my essence, my truth, and my values, oriented towards self-care and expression outward, with no intention of harming others. I will not react negatively, even if the external transmission seems to emit signals of negativity mostly. Now I understand the hermit: it’s not that he wanted to be alone and withdraw from everyone, but that he needed to learn to care for his energy so that when he went outside, he could maintain his personal current and interact with others while preserving his own rhythm and experience. Balance is key.

At the beginning of summer, to be exact, last month, you took another flight from Canada, halting your life there to return to mine. I missed you so much more than my human reason could admit. I woke up early that morning, preparing for your arrival, and I realized how important you have been to me since the first time our gazes met. I ran through the halls of my new apartment in the heart of Denver. I mean, it’s a beautiful place; I feel very inspired starting to live in a city without feeling overwhelmed. Denver still retains that small-town character in the midst of the mountains, attracting the attention of other states for its industries, sports, and projects.

When I arrived at the first floor, where you were waiting at the entrance door, there you were, behind the glass door, smiling at me from your soul. And there I was, as joyful as a little girl, feeling that all my spaces were filled with yours. In the imperfection of our existences, I am grateful that you exist, and I want you to know that.

We walked into my room, and although you swore to resist, we both became one immediately. Making love with you is like interacting with Michelangelo’s David; you came to life on that bed of mine, and all the lines that build your human structure are beautiful and perfect. Every part of you, every part of you, is a design I have admired and felt in different ways.

I want you to know that you are art; you are such a beautiful man, and although I know we are no longer together in the relationship we used to have, since we ended it, I have been grateful that you didn’t mind any formalities to come and see me from anywhere in the world. Your presence has been important throughout this transition of mine to the United States.

Although now I feel sufficiently capable, to an acceptable degree, of managing my own company, your love has been so significant that it makes me want to cry. Now, as I write this, a Lane 8 song is playing that makes me feel you so much, and I don’t care if we end up with different people; I just want you to know how important and crucial you have been in my life. My love for you has transcended all human limitations, and wherever you go and with whomever you are, I only wish you love, happiness, and success.

Our movements together were like two mirrors, each trying to penetrate the other, strong enough not to be penetrated, to stay and love each other for whatever the “forever” accounting might mean. Now, when I think of a man, I think more about what I need and not just what I want. I suppose that once the cerebral cortex finishes developing, you start to reason a bit more about not diving headfirst and without a parachute into the experience of love. The ego loves control; again, balance is key. So I am finding my movement in it.

The currents of what I want to experience in my human experience take me to places that, before fully positioning myself on the spinning wheel of the center, make me go through harsh and complex learning processes, but necessary. The creative idea comes first, but the how of things needs a certain creation and writing of codes that connect and bring everything together to bring the idea to life. So I am trying to be grateful and focused.

I have opened a space to meet new people, and it is proving to be a bit interesting. There is no good or bad side to this because it seems that my explorations are touching surfaces. Is there something truly inside? Or are they so protected that they qualify in a structure as their own system to the other? Does the United States believe in love? I think generalizing is also falling into ignorance, and I try not to fall into that. I give space only to what feels true and distance myself from what doesn’t feel authentic.

The voices of society and their requirements continue to sound like echoes of different shared voices, and I try to shield myself from them and continue living from my heart and the power of being myself.

In summer here, the colors of the sky can be appreciated in different shades of yellow, pink. I can see the gigantic clouds from my window and a palette of different shades of blue. They center me and remind me of what is truly valuable and important. At night, the city lights illuminate the darkness when the interior lights go out through the different windows. My soul leaves my body and dances amidst so much beauty together.

Life feels so extraordinarily fragile that remaining whole in all my forms and pieces is something I am grateful for.

There is no exact point where I have 100% certainty about where I want to go, nor am I letting myself be carried away by other currents. I am navigating my own, from a light that illuminates me, which I call God, and I am in a constant conversation. I would like to leave for a whole month outside the United States in the company of my own presence, to remind myself that whatever I am doing or interpreting out there is a temporality and that this divine light I call God is my eternal and permanent destiny, living in that divine grace where everything is well and everything will be well.

Writer by Kafme